导读:有人说，婚姻是爱情的坟墓，究竟是爱情敌不过岁月？还是我们自掘了坟墓？
Men are all liars. I remember hearing many women saying this long before I came to know the actual difference between a man and a woman. It also comes with another realization: men lie especially before marriage.
男人都是骗子。在我尚未理解男女差别的时候，这句话已经如雷贯耳了。另一种解读是：男人在婚前尤其爱说谎。
I was in no position to judge until I began to wear a wedding ring myself. Unfortunately, those "grown-ups" are right, once again.
结婚之前，我没有资格去评判这句话的对错。不幸的是，事实确实如此。
Last week, my husband came back to Beijing from Brazil. It was his first return after he started working in Sao Paulo last November and it was also our first reunion after we got married.
上周，我丈夫从巴西回到了北京。这是他自去年十一月在圣保罗开始工作后的第一次回国，也是我们婚后的第一次团聚。
I was, of course, more than excited to see him coming back and his gift - a sweet agreement we made before marriage: he will always return with a small gift from business trip wherever went, be it a postcard or a sticker.
当然，我很兴奋见到他以及他带给我的礼物。我们在结婚前曾有过约定：无论去哪里出差，都要带一个礼物回来，不论大小，明信片和贴纸也行。
So I asked about the gift like I did before, but was put down by his indifference. "I don’t think you will look good in either of the necklaces," said my husband in our FaceTime chat, as I sent him a link of Swarovski.
所以我像往常一样询问我的礼物，结果让我很失望。他说：“你压根儿就不需要项链的衬托。”他说这句话的时候，我刚好发给他了一个施华洛世奇的链接。
All I could give was a forced and frozen smile and a "fine." In the eyes of some friends, my husband is stingy and they even ask me why I married him.
我只能强装微笑。在我一些朋友的眼里，我丈夫是铁公鸡一只，他们一直问我为什么要嫁给他。
For our first date, he took me out on a Phantom of Opera drama show with each ticket priced at 1,300 yuan ($188.7). He also spent more than 2,000 yuan for our first dinner at an exquisite German restaurant. On the first Valentine’s, he bought a rose bouquet at 1,999 yuan.
我们第一次约会，他带我看了一场幻影歌剧表演，每张门票售价为1300元（$ 188.7）。晚餐是在一家精致的德国餐厅，花费超过2000元。我们的第一个情人节，他给我买了一束接近2000元的玫瑰花。
When all the romantic dates ended with a marriage certificate, a Swarovski silver necklace was too much for him to buy. Men are all liars before marriage. Suddenly I was overwhelmed by the remark, repeatedly chanted by women in my memories.
当所有浪漫的日子因一张结婚证结束的时候，施华洛世奇的银项链对他来说太贵了。突然，“结婚前男人都是骗子”这句话萦绕在我的脑海。
My mother gave me the same warning before I got married, saying my loving, sweet boyfriend would no longer stay the same after marriage. "Your dad promised that he would do all the housework before we got married, but look who is actually in the kitchen every day," said my mother.
结婚之前，母亲给了我同样的忠告：可爱又浪漫的男人婚后都灭绝了，结婚前你爸爸答应我承担所有的家务，但是看看现在，是谁每天在厨房忙前忙后呢？
After all, actions indeed speak louder than words. But as I look into my marriage and especially my role in it, I began to see myself as a "liar" too.
事实胜于雄辩。但当我审视我的婚姻，尤其是我在婚姻中的角色时，我也开始把自己看作一个“说谎者”。
Stepping closer to marriage, I saw myself losing my elegance and patience more and more. Even make-up did not seem necessary after months into marriage. The fact that we are now legally bonded to each other has turned us both into being lazier, when we care more about ourselves than each other.
走近婚姻，我看到自己失去了优雅和耐心。甚至婚后几个月便觉得素面朝天挺好。事实上，法律上的彼此结合让我们变得懒惰，我们永远最关心的是自己。
It suddenly occurred to me what my grandmother often said, marriage is like holding of a bamboo-woven basket by two people. If you pull harder on your end, the basket will eventually be torn. In the end, tolerance and gratitude not only makes good friends but also good couples.
我突然想起我祖母常说的话，婚姻就像两个人提着的一个竹篮。如果你用力过猛，篮子最终会被撕破。最后，宽容和感恩不仅是好朋友的特质，也是好夫妻需要的品质。
