导读:你是否也曾感觉到母亲给你的关爱要多于父亲?不要抱怨,其实这是有科学原理的。一起来了解下原因!
I am the mother of two young people, one still a teenager, who work hard and play hard. Living in London, this means they often end up in a club in Brixton, at a party in Peckham or a rave in Hackney. “Drinks” at someone’s house or the pub happens at around the time I’m brushing my teeth, and the serious partying doesn’t get going until midnight and they are unlikely to be home until the small hours.
我是两个年轻人的母亲,其中一个还是青少年,他学习很努力,但也很贪玩。生活在伦敦意味着他们经常会在布里克斯顿的俱乐部混迹,参加佩卡姆的派对,或者是加入哈克尼的锐舞。大概在我刷牙的时候,他们便在别人家或者是酒吧酗酒,更严重的时候,聚会狂欢到午夜都不会走,他们玩到凌晨才有可能回家。
Generally, they are good at keeping in touch and I usually head for bed in receipt of a brief text message, certainly from the younger one: “probs back around 3, love you”. These days, 3am counts as an early night.
一般来说,他们会时刻保持联系,我经常在上床睡觉前会接到小儿子的一条简短信息:“大概在3点钟回家,爱你!”而近段时间,3点钟也算是早了。
A lot of women complain but they do not want their position of prime worriers challenged by men either.
很多女性都在抱怨,但是她们并不希望其作为主要担心者的地位被男性所取代。
So can we change any of this? It is not so easy, according to psychotherapist and writer Graham Music. who, while “not wanting to go down the path of biological determinism”, says, “There is some evidence from a research perspective of a link between the kind of hormones that mothers in particular release when they are breastfeeding – oxytocin – and obsessional symptoms.”
那么我们能够改变这些吗?根据精神治疗医师和作家格雷汉姆·缪斯克的说法,这并非易事。“她们不希望为生物决定论所左右”,但是“从研究角度来看,有证据表明母亲尤其是在哺乳时散发的荷尔蒙——催产素——和强迫症状存在联系。”格雷汉姆·缪斯克表示。
Motherhood as a form of OCD? Hardly reassuring. According to Music, “It’s true that, in our culture, females hold more worry / anxiety and males can protect themselves by being strong and ‘problem solving’. Testosterone inures against worry and can act as an antidepressant in its way.”
母性是强迫症的一种形式?难以安心。根据缪斯克的说法,“在我们的文化中,女性确实更加担心或焦虑,男性可以通过强健的体魄和解决问题的能力来保护自己。睾酮能够抵抗焦虑并可作为一种抗抑郁剂。”
There are worried fathers, of course, but if most dads are dosing themselves up with their own natural tranquillisers, surely they are not doing much problem-solving. Shouldn’t we reverse the proposition and accept that it might be largely anxious mothers who are tackling the thorny, practical issues of family life?
当然,也有担心孩子的父亲,但是如果大多数父亲凭借他们天生的镇静剂便高枕无忧,那么他们肯定解决不了多少问题。难道我们不应该转变思维来接受大多数焦虑的母亲解决家庭生活中棘手的实际问题这一现实?