1.一些空洞的单词或词组根本不能为句子带来任何相关的或重要的信息,完全可以被删掉。
比如:When all things are considered, young adults of today live more satisfying lives than those of their parents, in my opinion。
这句话当中的“when all things are considered”和“in my opinion“都显得多余。完全可以去掉。改为:
Young adults of today live more satisfying lives than their parents。
2.有些空洞和繁琐的表达方式可以进行替换
例如:Due to the fact that our grandparents were under an obligation to help their parents, they did not have the options that young people have at this point in time。
“due to the fact that”就是一个很典型的繁琐的表达方式的例子,可以替换,简化为下面的表达方式:
Because our grandparents were obligated to help their parents, they did not have the options that young people have now。
二、避免重复
1.尽量避免重复使用同样的词汇。或者有的时候虽然词汇没有重复,但意思却有重复。这时候可以做一些简化的工作。
例如下面这个例子:The farm my grandfather grew up on was large in size。
large对一个farm来说就是size方面的large,所以in size可以去掉,改为:
The farm my grandfather grew up on was large。
更简洁的表达方式为:
My grandfather grew up on a large farm。
2.有时一个词组可以用一个更简单的单词来替换
例如:My grandfather has said over and over again that he had to work on his parents' farm。
这里的over and over again就可以改为repeatedly,显得更为简洁:
My grandfather has said repeatedly that he had to work on his parents' farm。
三、选择最恰当的语法结构
选择合适的语法结构可以使句子意思的表达更为精确和简练。虽然语法的多样性也很重要,但选择最恰当的语法结构仍然是更为重要的考虑因素。以下原则是在考虑选择何种语法结构时可以参考的原则:
1.一个句子的主语和谓语动词应该能够反映句子中的最重要的意思。
例如:The situation that resulted in my grandfather's not being able to study engineering was that his father needed help on the farm。
从意思上来分析,上面这句话需要表达的重要的概念是“grandfather's not being able to study”,而在表达这个概念时,原句用的主语是situation,谓语动词是was,不能强调需要表达的重点概念,可以改为下面这句话:
My grandfather couldn't study engineering because his father needed help on the farm。
2.避免频繁使用“there be”结构
例如下面的句子:There were 25 cows on the farm that my grandfather had to milk every day. It was hard work for my grandfather。
可以改为:
My grandfather worked hard. He had to milk 25 cows on the farm every day。
更简洁的句式为:
My grandfather worked hard milking 25 cows daily。
3.把从句改为短语或单词。
例如:Dairy cows were raised on the farm, which was located100 kilometers from the nearest university and was in an area that was remote。
简介的表达方式为:
The dairy farm was located in a remote area, 100 kilometers to the nearest university。
4.仅在需要强调宾语而不是主语的时候,才使用被动语态。
例如:In the fall, not only did the cows have to be milked, but also the hay was mowed and stacked by my grandfather's family。
本句不够简洁的原因是本句的重心应该是“忙碌的家庭-my grandfather's family”,而使用了被动语态後,彷佛重心变成了cows和hay。下面的表达方式是主动语态,相对来说更简洁一些:
In the fall, my grandfather's family not only milked the cow but also mowed and stacked the hay。
5.用更为精确的一个动词来代替动词短语,
例如:My grandfather didn't have time to stand around doing nothing with his school friends。
Stand around doing nothing其实可以用一个动词来表达,即loiter:
My grandfather didn't have time to loiter with his school friends。
6.有时两句话的信息经过组合完全可以用一句话来简练地表达
例如:Profits from the farm were not large. Sometimes they were too small to meet the expenses of running a farm. They were not sufficient to pay for a university degree。
两句话的信息可以合并为下面这句更为简洁的句子:
Profits from the farm were sometimes too small to meet operational expenses, let alone pay for a university degree。
四、避免使用语意弱的“be”动词。
这个技巧并不是那么容易掌握,但是确实是一个能够提高雅思写组成绩的非常实用的技巧。
例如:
Weak:The trees are bare. The grass is brown. The landscape seems drab.
Revision:The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape. (转换为前置定语)
Or:The landscape, bare and brown, begged for spring green. (转换为并列结构作后置定语)
2、将作表语用的形容词或名词变为行为动词。
例如:
1) Weak:The team members are good players.
Revision:The team members play well.
2) Weak:One worker's plan is the elimination of tardiness.
Revision:One worker's plan eliminates tardiness.
3、在以“here”或“there”开头的句子中,把“be”动词后的名词代词变成改写句的主语。
例如:
1) Weak:There is no opportunity for promotion.
Revision:No opportunity for promotion exists.
2) Weak:Here are the books you ordered.
Revision:The books you ordered have arrived.
这样的具体描写可以让文章看起来更具说服力,当然也就可以提高雅思写作成绩了。
例如:
1、Poor:My supervisor went past my desk.
Better:My supervisor sauntered (=walked slowly) past my desk.
2、Poor:She is a careful shopper.
Better:She compares prices and quality.
之所以要这样做,是因为很多人不明白什么时候该用主动,什么时候该用被动。用错了,当然也就谈不上提高雅思写作成绩了。
例如:
1、Weak:The organization has been supported by charity.
Better:Charity has supported the organization.
2、Weak:The biscuits were stacked on a plate.
Better:Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate.
想要提高雅思写作成绩就得使写作的用词简单,生动。
例如:
1、Wordy:My little sister has a preference for chocolate milk.
Improved:My little sister prefers chocolate milk.
2、Wordy:We are in receipt of your letter and intend to follow your recommendations.
Improved:We have received your letter and intended to follow your recommendation.
3、Redundant:We had a serious crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.
Improved:We had a crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.
4、Redundant:My sister and I bought the same, identical dress in different stores.
Improved:My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores.
这是语言考试,不是专业考试,提高雅思写作成绩的关键点在语言上,是文章的表现力上!
例如:
1、Weak:They will not agree to his proposals in any shape or form.
Improved:They will not agree to any of his proposals.
2、Weak:I need her financial input before I can guesstimate our expenditures next fall.
Improved:I need her financial figures before I can estimate our expenditures next fall.